September introspection

Thinking about life and death recently. Finding a way through my thoughts has been difficult. Worries about my ageing mother compound the fogginess after her recent fall. Thinking about dad and whether there is something else after death or not. Such an impossible question. Morning mist usually rises as the heat of the sun rising dissipates it. Thoughts can be like that in my head, starting early in the cold, deepening in intensity, then dissolving as the day progresses and stuff takes over. I have to look at the positive side of everything or I can drown in it. I hate negativity. Sometimes it takes you by surprise – everything’s suddenly OK and I don’t know why. Other times I have to plan my way out of it, fill up the space before something gets in there. Or I escape – go somewhere, see someone, call someone, read or draw.
Sometimes I cry.

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