March and Mothers

This year I decided to visit my mum on Mother’s Day. At 89 it’s important she’s not alone on that day. We went to her church and watched the local primary children sing, read poems and give every woman a bunch of daffodils. It was surprisingly lovely. I always visit my dad’s grave when I visit the church in Bilsborrow, Lancashire and, though I don’t believe in an after life, find myself talking to him in my head.  She’s a little frailer this year but still lives independently and is a visitor for Help the Aged – she visits a lady called Monica who is over 90 for them. We had a gorgeous walk on the prom at Lytham St Annes, remembering when I brought my children there and we marvelled at the old white windmill. When we got to St Annes we walked a little way on the beach and had our coffee from Gran’s blue flask. The weather was kind to us, with bright blue skies although it was cold. The rest of the week I tried to sort out her phone – a trial with Talk Talk – a boring but predictable and infuriating saga. we worked on a corner of her garden which she is finding more difficult now.

This month has been frantic planning and organising a trip with Year 10 pupils to visit Helsinki – a mini International Youth Meeting with our group and a small group of students from Pielavesi in Finland at Easter. More hours than you can imagine has been put into the planning of this trip as it is a new city for me to visit. Normally I just change planes there and see the airport shops flash by as I dash for my next plane to Kuopio. I have been meeting the students every Tuesday and Saturdays bag packing and for a sponsored walk along the canal.

I managed to get to see the David Hockney exhibition in Tate Britain as well as see my University friend Lindsay. I spent a day drawing in the V&A which was a delight for me. It’s such a special experience – I treasure it. My drawings are better than last year.

I finished my “White landscape” painting at last and put it in the Women’s Art Exhibition in the Theatre Frycheiniog. Where they hung it was beautiful. I was proud of this painting even though it is so simple, so I was worried about the reaction from people, but I needn’t have worried. I think most people liked it. I’ve painted three small white paintings on tissue paper which I will frame or hang on a narrow pole later this year. It has given me a real boost of creativity.

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November’s challenges

After a week in Tenby I thought this month would be such good fun including my 62nd birthday, but instead it proved to be a difficult time with more difficult questions than answers and emotions at high alert. C’s launch event was emotional, felt vulnerable and the past came flooding back, colouring my emotions and reactions, not unreasonably but dramatically. I still haven’t decided how to proceed but things are slightly more open, though still a way to go. Honesty is more and more important to me. I’m bored and despondent feeling so humiliated by the actions of others. At my age I should be happy and contented. Or is that a myth……

Went to London to see the semi finals of the ATP tennis and saw Andy Murray narrowly beat Romanic then Djocovic demolish Nishikori. Caught the river bus to the 02 which is great fun. A great event but an argument with the security people soured it a bit. Also didn’t get to see my friend at the V & A as she is so ill after chemo but did have a wicked time in the Prints and Drawing Study room. They provided me with 6 boxes of botanical prints from 16th – 19th centuries. It was like Christmas!!!! I was in my element and just sat drawing poppies and irises and dandelions – only got through 3 boxes. I’m going back there!!!! Didn’t get to see my brother Lester and his family – that’s a story in itself but not now – very angry and fed up. So you see rather a lot of emotional turmoil this month.

My 62nd birthday arrived and my birthday lunch in an expensive restaurant was not good because of the mediocre weird food. Disappointing. But company was good. Happy times have been experienced when I’m drawing in the mornings or swimming or working as a Samaritan and playing with my grandchildren, helping people. Also planning my summer holiday in Rome and Venice – can’t wait.

My thoughts about my life return in this birthday month as usual. Memories can be positive and affirming or destructive because of the hurt within them. I had a conversation with someone about forgiveness, trust and being able to move on to put the hurt behind me. They talked some real sense but it’s not a logical progression, it feels like a wavering image I just can’t get it to stay still and get my mind to come to a conclusion or a way forward. I suppose the future is always unknown and you have to take a chance and take action to make things change or accept things as they are now.

October 2016 Tenby and Glasbury Art Exhibition

 

One highlight this month were getting my egg sculptures sorted for the art exhibition in Glasbury. I felt rather special having a special plinth to display them, where people could walk around them, peer into the glass domes to see the drawings, getting multiple viewing points. Apart from the white tablecloth not being ironed it was perfect. Didn’t make any sales but I was truly chuffed and honoured to display my work there. It was a superb exhibition with a hint of controversy about the local life drawing class’s work displayed! An anonymous woman approached the organiser and complained that there was pornography on show – she hadn’t seen the work but had heard at the church coffee morning all about it…… (Enough said then). Is it really 2016? Soooooo daft. It made it to the B & R paper that week. Notoriety at last.

Secondly our annual visit to Tenby appeared at the end of the month, staying in a lovely huge house from the 16th century, walking on the beach, cooking together, the grandkids splintering the quietness of the thick walls  for a few days, playing cards, drawing, meeting old friends and sampling the new brewery ales. Such a delight. From mum at 89 to George at 20 months I like this little ritual. Good job I can afford to do it each year.

Helping others sounds like a cliche, but it’s true. I like doing it. Samaritans is one way but also in my old school too. Art workshops have been fun this month – drawing with food, Chinese ink painting. My own drawing comes up to the 365 day mark so I have been completing a daily drawing for a year…..I genuinely didn’t think that would happen. Roll on Year 2 of drawing. How can I celebrate this?

Bought a new Canon SLR camera off the internet with 2 lenses and 2 screens for indoor shooting. It feels good to get off my phone and shoot some proper photographs. I’ve missed that.

C is working towards the launch of his new book. Not happy about that….Need to work out what’s going on and how to stop it. Deeply hurt.

July 2015 Inspiration and Occasions

Spent a gorgeous day with Meg and George and Helen on Barry Island beach – last visited in the 1970s. Ice cream and fish and chips, lots of sandcastles and paddling.

Helped with school art exhibitions in Brecon – great opening in the Muse – music, art and Pimms!
My mum was 88 on 14th July and we celebrated it together in Brecon.
Violently sick on 19th July.
George my grandson was christened on 20th July.

Finally dismantled the old fitted wardrobes on 27th July to reveal blackened wallpaper, different carpet and 4 holes with steel nuts and bolts sticking out. Chose new wardrobes but need to do all this work first. Whole room needs redecorating, the walls stripped in the corner and repapered, bolts to take out, holes filled, new carpet ordered and furniture taken out – possibly repair bed. Might get it done in August.